


they say in heaven, love comes first

by lilacvenus



Series: If I could do it all over again, I would. And I wouldn’t change a thing. [11]
Category: The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Alternate Universe, Boys Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-19 13:56:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22111972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilacvenus/pseuds/lilacvenus
Summary: “I feel like I've known you forever.” Thomas confessed, as he continued to watch the stars and ignored the fact that Newt's cheeks were red because of the confession.
Relationships: Newt & Thomas (Maze Runner), Newt/Thomas (Maze Runner)
Series: If I could do it all over again, I would. And I wouldn’t change a thing. [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1413310
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	they say in heaven, love comes first

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, to write this story i was inspired by the san junipero chapter of black mirror. It’s kind of the same main concept but more fairy and with a gay happy ending we all deserve too. It is not necessary to see the chapter to understand the reading. Enjoy!! :)
> 
> tumblr: [punknewt](http://punknewt.tumblr.com)

You’re dead. It doesn't matter how it happened, if you killed yourself jumping off a building, or if it was on a train accident. Your life had ended, and it wasn't the age that ended with you. San Junipero offers an unparalleled opportunity. San Junipero offers an unparalleled opportunity. They offer to give you a second chance, if you bought their life insurance. If at dying you were legally an adult, you appear in San Junipero: with a clock on your wrist that marks the time of exactly two days. Two days of trial, in which you have to decide whether to stay or disappear.

The atmosphere of the place was different from what Newt was used to. An almost imperceptible sense of terror accompanied him, but more than anything he was curious. Since he had appeared there, he had known the strangest and most wonderful things thanks to a group of boys who he had met, and had taken the trouble to explain the situation thanks to the terror embodied in his face.

He had separated from them a while ago, and now not being able to sleep, he was wandering on the streets of what seemed to be a city away from the downtown. It was at night, the place did not look scary and surprisingly the sky was full of stars. It was Newt's first night in San Junipero. The blond was certainly still overwhelmed by all the events he was witnessing now, and the memories that felt so clear from last night, the reason that led him there.

Feeling tired, he decided among all the places, to enter a bar that had a sign that, although it seemed neglected, had a rather striking typeface. Yellow colors accompanied a beautiful italic letter indicating that it was the Molly's pub.

Newt was still oblivious to the situation, and was very surprised that he was not suffering from a panic attack. There was only one reason that explained his situation, and the watch on his wrist was a great clue on that. It had a timer, numbers in red that were in countdown. So precise, no chance of error. The young man kept watching the numbers, seeing how they were decreasing and could not do anything about it. A feeling of anxiety began to invade him, and he could do nothing but touch the clock on his wrist and keep trying to understand.

He shook his head slowly as an attempt to ward off the feelings that roamed his mind, and turned to inspect the place.

It was was quite rustic, the floor and the finishes made of wood. The walls were of a dark green color, all the paintings had a beautiful golden frame, and the floor creaked every time a person walked, but somehow it did not seem to be uncomfortable.

There weren't too many people, Newt could count them with the fingers of his hands. Mostly were lonely souls at the bar, all with a beer barrel in front of them. Some were in pairs, at some nearby tables and sometimes they used to laugh softly, making Newt feel somehow more normal than he had felt in all the time he had been there, more _human_.

Newt looked at a table in one of the corners of the place. A couple was sitting there, they seemed to be arguing for some reason. Newt found himself entertained by the fight, watching how they spoke under their breath and the girl seemed about to lose her temper. The boy just squeezing the grip on his beer jar. The redhead began to raise her voice more, not caring now who could hear her, and the boy was still neutral, making the girl angrier. The woman stopped and shouted a few more things, losing control. The other people seemed unmoved, perhaps accustomed to such behaviors, after all it was a pub. The girl took her purse, and whipped strongly one of her slippers against the floor, screaming in frustration, and finding no other way to get rid of her anger than slapping the boy in front of her. No one seemed to care, and the girl finally left the place with the anger still drawn on her face. The brunet didn't flinch, didn't even watch the girl leave. He just took a sip of his beer, and seemed to notice Newt's gaze on him, because he looked back at him. They kept eye contact for a while, and the boy smiled at him.

"Will you order something?" Newt looked away of the boy, and directed his gaze to the woman who was now in front of him.

"Excuse me?" The confusion was clear in his voice, and the woman just smiled at him.

"You didn't look with intentions of approaching the counter since you arrived, and I deduced that you had never been on a pub before." The woman let out a small mocking laugh and the blond's cheeks lit slightly. "I decided to come to help you a little, what will you order?"

The blond seemed to think about it, instinctively he directed his gaze to the table of the boy who was previously accompanied and observed the beautiful glass with a pink liquid that the girl had left.

"I want a drink just like the one on that table, please." The woman turned her eyes to the same place, and nodded, heading for the bar.

Almost like a blink of an eye, the woman returned, and placed the drink the boy had ordered on the table. He thanked him and before he could comment anything else, the woman left.

"Why would you order that?" Newt looked up, surprised and noticing that the boy at the corner table was now in front of him.

"It's pink." Newt replied, as if it were the only obvious answer. “It looks fun.” He added, feeling that his first motive had sounded too stupid and he needed to find another one quickly. The boy smiled, seeming to understand. He watched the free chair at the table, and Newt nodded, giving him permission. The chestnut just sat down, and placed his beer on the table.

"I suppose." Silence invaded them, and although it wasn't an awkward silence, Newt decided to break it.

"Are you alright?" The boy looked confused. "Your cheek is still red." Newt explained, sounding suddenly shy.

The brunet only smiled again and slowly denied, indicating that it was not important. "The pain slider is set to zero, anyway." He let go, drinking of his beer. "Just an old friend."

"How lucky." Newt replied. "Finding someone you know here, I mean." He seemed to think better of what he had said and denied. "Sorry, you probably don't consider it luck for how it ended, and finishing here I would not necessarily call it luck." His cheeks tinted again for the second time in ten minutes. "Sorry." Newt thought it was necessary to stop talking to avoid embarrassing himself again.

The boy just looked at him with a raised eyebrow, and let out a loud laugh.

"It's fine." He assured, trying to reassure the other boy. "Although I would call it coincidence." He took another sip of his beer. “Finding someone you know. Here.” Newt nodded.

Another silence fell in both of them, and Newt stroked his wrist with the clock, almost like instinct.

"So you're new too?" The brunet asked, watching Newt's wrist. The blond just looked at him, and the brunet pointed at his wrist, where there was an identical clock. The blond nodded again.

The brunet took Newt's hand, and looked at the clock.

“So you've been here for almost a day. Tell me, is it as perfect as they rumoured it?” Newt didn't answer, and just took the other boy's wrist, watching his watch.

"Have you only been here for an hour and have already been slapped?" The brunet laughed, and removed his hand from the blond's grip, standing.

"Let's go."

"What?"

"I want you to show me the wonders of this place."

The boys were wandering the streets of the city, heading downtown, where colored lights illuminated the entire place and made Newt feel surreal again.

The boy's name was Thomas, and he had twenty-one when he arrived to San Junipero. _Had_. Newt felt a chill and decided to ignore it.

"Why are you here?" Thomas suddenly asked, causing Newt to stop abruptly. The brunet seemed to have noticed that his question was not entirely appropriate, because he decided to apologize immediately. "Sorry, it seems it wasn't a good ice breaker." He commented. "It's fine if you don't want to tell me, I understand." The boy took his hand, trying to give the blond a feeling of support, and he just smiled back.

"Look!" He shouted suddenly, pointing with his finger towards a stage that Thomas would swear was not there ten minutes ago. "There will be a concert, come on." The blond took the other boy's hand, quite excited and ran to the site.

"Who will play?" Thomas asked, trying to keep up with the other boy. Newt turned sideways, and approached a wall that had a poster attached.

"David Bowie." He read, not recognizing the name but still smiling at the end.

Thomas opened his eyes excessively, feeling ecstatic. "What?!" He managed to scream. "David Bowie?! Not possible, he's..." The brunet stopped talking abruptly, and Newt just gave him a smile.

"Dead?" Newt tried to finish for him. Thomas swallowed hard, and the blond just squeezed the grip on his hand, trying to make him feel better, just like he had done before for him. "Come on, you'll love it."

Newt passed among the sea of people, trying to get as close to the stage as possible, while still holding the other boy's hand. When he decided that he liked the place where they were, he turned to see Thomas again, and the brunet was surprised to see that Newt had on his face drawings with beautiful patterns made with blue neon paint. He just frown, clearly confused, making Newt laugh.

"You can do many things." The blond tried to explain.

"Things like that?" Newt nodded. "How?"

"With your mind." He finally replied. "It's like magic." The blond just brought his hand to Thomas' face, the brunet closing his eyes instinctively. Newt smiled and remembered the poster they had previously seen about the concert, delicately marking with his finger the pattern on the brunet's face. "Ready."

Thomas opened his eyes, and when he was about to ask what he had done, the lights around them went out and a deafening noise surrounded them.

Newt gave him one last smile, before directing his eyes to the stage, and ironically Thomas had never felt so alive.

"Thomas, are you alright?" Newt placed his hand on the brunet's forehead, laughing.

"That was, I. I have no words!" Thomas shouted with excitement as they moved away from the site. "Newt, that's all I wanted in life, now I can die in peace." The brunet closed his eyes abruptly. "Fuck, I still don't get used to this, it's obvious that it wasn't the right comment." The blond laughed again.

"I'll let you know when John Lennon returns to give a concert." Newt commented.

"God, Newt. You're going to kill me.” The blond raised an eyebrow. "Wrong comment, again." Newt chuckled.

"Are you tired?" The blond asked with uncertainty. "You can rest now if that's what you want," He added, wishing Thomas wanted to stay with him just for a little while more.

"Rest? It's the last thing I want to do!" Newt smiled. "What can we do now?"

"We can take a ride." Newt offered. "Do you know how to ride a bike?" Thomas nodded. "So, let's go."

"Wait, where are we going to get bikes from?" Newt smiled at him and pointed with his gaze in front of them. A blue bicycle was there. "Oh." He only managed to comment. "You did that?" Newt nodded as he approached and climbed. "It's just one, you know?"

"I know." The boy started pedaling and circled around Thomas. "It's your turn."

"I don't know how to do that." He admitted, scratching his head nervously.

"It's very easy." He commented. "Just think about what you want, you can use your hands for dramatic effects, but it is enough with your mind." Newt advised.

Thomas closed his eyes tightly and tried to concentrate, when he opened them Newt kept circling around him but now a pretty red bicycle like the one he used to have was a few steps away from him.

"I've done it!" He celebrated as he approached the bicycle. Newt smiled and stopped to applaud him.

“Congratulations, Tommy. You're officially a wizard.” Thomas didn't mention anything about the nickname, and only managed to smile back. He approached the bicycle and observed his reflection in the shop window in front of him, in his face was an exact replica of the characteristic lightning of Bowie. A feeling of comfort surrounded him and his cheeks felt hot.

“I will beat you in this race.” Thomas challenged as he climbed on the bike and began pedaling quickly.

"That's not fair!" Newt shouted as he tried not to laugh, and to reach Thomas. "You didn't even say til where!"

The two boys laughed as they tried to retrieve the breath. The competition had exhausted them. Thomas had been guided by lights that caught his attention, and they ended up in an amusement park. They parked their bikes and decided to enter.

"Tommy, I really don't like these games too much." Newt swayed on one foot, and watched as people shouted in excitement as the roller coaster passed by them.

"Are you scared?" Thomas felt his heart clench, and he smiled tenderly at the boy, hugging him. "Don't worry, everything will be fine." He ruffled the blond's hair, and Newt chuckled. "We can leave if you want."

"No, it's fine." He assured. "The worst that could happen has already happened, so I don't see why not." The boy showed him a half smile and they both advanced towards the line.

Waiting for their turn was a torment to the blond, who wanted to regret his decision every time the line advanced. Thomas had an arm around Newt's neck, stroking the boy's shoulder with his fingers, trying to calm him down. "You'll be fine," He repeated, and Newt didn't want to do anything other than believe in his words and continue to feel the heat of Thomas' body against his.

When he was already sitting in the car, Newt felt his heart pounding against his chest, his hands a little sweaty because of the grip Thomas had on one of them to try to comfort him, and his cheeks flushed for the same reason. It has been a long time since he felt an adrenaline so similar to that one. He have not felt emotions as intense as those of that night. A smile landed on his lips, and as the wind hit his face and he screamed loudly with Thomas laughing uncontrollably, for the first time he did not regret the decision he had made, for the first time he thought of something other than the blood-filled bathtub he had left behind.

The boys pedaled aimlessly. A couple of minutes ago they had left the fair behind, after Thomas showed Newt that he could drink three jars of beer without stopping and the blond had dedicated the biggest face of disgust after watched him do it, they decided they no longer had nothing else to do there.

Thomas looked at the place where they were, there was a huge field and the stars were the only ones that illuminated their path several kilometers ago. The boy accelerated, and continued pedaling until he saw a huge rock that blocked the road. Thomas decided to jump off the bike, falling on the grass next to the road. Newt had time to stop, and hurried off the bike.

"Oh, Tommy. Tell me you had your pain slider set to zero.” He whispered as he approached the other boy to verify his condition. The brunet only raised his arm with the clock.

"Set to zero, don't worry." Newt let out a sigh of relief, and sat next to the brunet, lying down too. 

Thomas turned around, and now both boys were watching the stars.

“I feel like I've known you forever.” Thomas confessed, as he continued to watch the stars and ignored the fact that Newt's cheeks were red because of the confession.

"Me too." Newt agreed.

"Do you think I can make Led Zeppelin give a concert?" Thomas asked, pulling grass with his hand.

Newt laughed denying. "No."

"Why?" He asked intrigued. "I thought super powers worked for everything."

"You can control some things," Newt began to explain. "Like, to imagine something to eat or, this," he said, taking a bubbles bottle by his side that was not there before. "But you can't control other people." The boy blew and watched the bubbles coming out of the toy, Thomas trying to touch the ones within reach.

"I get it."

Newt's clock began to made a sound that it could be interpreted as simple notes of a calm symphony. The two boys watched it, putting their complete attention on it. Newt pressed one of the two blinking buttons on the clock, making the sound to disappear instantly.

"I think I'll stay another day." He said, lowering his head and blowing again.

"Do you know what you will do? What will be your final decision?'" Thomas asked, watching his own clock and becoming aware of the countdown timer again. Newt raised his shoulders, now watching the stars.

"I think I'll stay." He confessed, as he directed his gaze toward Thomas. "It's nice, you know. The idea of a second chance." He placed his hand on the grass, and Thomas couldn't help putting his hand on the boy's, starting to play with his fingers.

"I guess." He concluded.

"Do you know what you will do?" He asked back. Thomas shrugged.

"I think I still have time to think about it."

"I guess." Newt replied, trying to keep the silence from invading them.

"I don't want to sleep but I think at this point it is inevitable that my eyes close." Thomas admitted.

Newt nodded, and stood up of the place. Thomas watched him, and decided to follow him.

"Let's go before you fall asleep."

The two boys woke up the next morning later than they would like to admit.

The clock read one in the afternoon when the blond opened his eyes and decided to stand up to go to the bathroom. Looking at the clock on the wall, Newt could only think of the time they had lost. He sighed half relieved as he remembered that if his final decision was to stay there, he didn't have to worry about time, but a feeling of anxiety invaded him when he remembered that Thomas hadn't told him anything about his final decision to stay or not. The thought that Thomas' company could only last less than two days made Newt's heart shrink.

"Huh, what time is it?" Thomas asked as he went out of the bedroom, walking towards Newt, carving his eyes lazily.

"Almost two in the afternoon." Newt replied. "Are you hungry?" He asked, walking towards him. "Of course you're hungry!" He answered himself. "Come on, I'll take you to the best place in San Junipero where they sell waffles."

"And what do you think?" Newt was sitting in front of Thomas, with all his attention on him. "Did you like it?"

Thomas kept chewing, making a face of overly exaggerated concentration. Finally, he swallowed and looked back at the blond.

"You were right." A smile began to form on the blond's face. "They taste like heaven." Newt laughed and continued eating. "Seriously, I could eat them every day."

"You could do it," Newt whispered, causing Thomas to return his gaze to him, while playing with the berries that were on his plate.

There was a silence between the two, the brunet cleared his throat and pointed at Newt's wrist.

"You've decided to stay." He placed maple syrup on his waffles and Newt also looked at his wrist, free of a bracelet. He stroked it on impulse, nodding.

"Surprise." Newt's response sounded more like a doubt. He was going to comment something else about it, when Thomas interrupted him.

“What do we have planned for today? We have to make my day and a half worthwhile.” Newt's heart hurt a little when he heard those words, did that mean Thomas would not stay? He felt his chest tighten, _would I be alone again?_

Newt cleared his throat, and pushed away his plate, no longer hungry. Thomas frowned, and stole a strawberry from the blond's plate.

"The sun will be hidden within a few hours, we can go to a club." Thomas quickly put on his mouth the remaining piece of waffle on his plate and stood up from the table, taking Newt's hand and making him stand up too, dragging him towards the exit.

"Then we have no time to lose."

The boys were quite drunk, they walked the streets trying to forget the dizziness they felt at every step they took. They had gone to a club, as Newt had proposed. The time they were there was spent ordering drink after drink and dancing to the rhythm of the music, which, surprisingly, both liked a lot.

After trying to walk towards Thomas, Newt almost stumbled, so the brunet decided it was time to return to the hotel where they were staying. So now, the two boys were wandering the streets. Thomas noticed a sign in a building that indicated the presence of an art exhibition. Without asking, he took Newt's hand again and they both entered through the huge golden-colored door. There was a large hallway, and several doors that led to different exhibitions.

They entered each of them, trying to walk as normal as they could. In every room, they could count the people that were there with the fingers of one hand. Which, the two boys didn't find anything strange by the time it was. At the end of the hallway, there was a last door, to which they decided to enter ignoring some that were closer to them. They entered, instantly confused by the large black tunnel in front of them. They walked to the end of the tunnel, and Newt laughed when he noticed that Thomas collided with a side of the tunnel accidentally. They reached the end of the hallway, entering to the room and were perplexed by the landscape that surrounded them. Thousands of stars on a black background surrounded the room, some also lighting them. Thomas moved his hand placing it in the air, looking fascinated.

The two boys shared a knowing look and unable to avoid it, they smiled, then starting to laugh, because yes, they were still _very_ drunk. They began to walk around the place, and after a while of admiring, they leaned on a brandal at the back of the room. Thomas looked at Newt, who still had his eyes fixed on the stars. The blond looked back at him, having felt Thomas' intense gaze on him. Before Newt could comment on the matter, the brunet slowly placed his hand on the boy's cheek and stroked it, leaving him speechless. Thomas approached carefully, waiting for some negative sign of Newt. Not noticing any, he continued, and put their lips together. Thomas kissed him slowly and hard, making both somehow feel dizzier. The two boys separated, feeling their lungs without enough air to continue. They looked into each other's eyes, and Newt couldn't help not talking.

"What was that?" He knew his question made no sense, but it was something he felt he needed to know. Thomas just smiled calmly and raised his shoulders.

"I just felt like it. It fits." Newt perfectly understood what he meant.

The blond stepped forward, placing his arms around Thomas' neck and joining their lips again. Thomas squeezed Newt's waist, pulling him closer to him. The two now shared a sloppier and wet kiss.

After kissing for much longer under the projection of stars, they decided it was time to return. Even in the taxi and arriving at the hotel where they were staying, they did not stop kissing.

"Will you stay with me tonight again?" Newt asked between kisses, while Thomas had him leaning against the door of the blond's hotel room. Thomas just nodded, and Newt laughed on his lips. "It seems you won't know yours."

"I couldn't care less." Newt laughed again, and turned to open the door.

"Of course not, if you already emptied all my minibar."

They threw themselves on the bed in the room, Newt quickly climbing into Thomas' chest. They kissed until they fell asleep.

"Newt," The blond heard a whisper in his ear, and denied, sinking his face further into the pillow. "Come on, wake up." Thomas moved him slightly, and Newt turned around, carving his eyes and sitting down.

"What time is it?" He asked as he stood up and picked up his clothes from the floor.

"Early," Thomas leaned out the balcony. "Sort of." He opened it. "Earlier than we woke up yesterday." Newt just nodded. “Let's go to the beach.” Thomas proposed, while buttoning his shirt. Newt nodded again, and opened the door room, both of them leaving instantly.

"I see you have improved." Newt commented, as Thomas climbed into a jeep that was waiting for them outside the hotel.

"You can say now that I am an expert."

"Come on wizard, to tan."

“Tommy, I think you should stop now and park. It's here.” Newt reported as the beach landscape appeared beside them.

"That's what I'm trying, but, these brakes don't work." Thomas stepped on the brake all the way down and the jeep didn't seem to want to stop in the least.

"Oh my God, what will we do?" The blond asked worried.

"Okay." Thomas seemed to assess the situation. "It's okay. I will divert it from the path.” He proposed. "Over there." He pointed with his finger at an alternate path, the blond just agreed clearly confused. "That way I can collide it without trouble with that huge mountain of sand."

"And what about us?"

"We jump."

"What?" Newt exclaimed, surprised.

"Now!" Thomas shouted as he jumped out of the moving jeep and Newt imitated him.

The jeep collided against the large mound of sand that filled it, and stopped it. Newt tried to catch his breath and began to laugh, while Thomas smiled at him and denied, moving towards the blond and extending a hand to help him stand up.

“First the bike, and then the truck. You like to jump from moving things, don't you?” Thomas laughed a little, and turned to see the truck, watching how a tire was still spinning. His face became serious, and he looked down.

"I died like that, you know?"

"What?" The surprise in Newt's voice showed.

“Well, not exactly. A car accident led me to a coma that made me end here.” He released a sigh and shook his head, trying to keep those thoughts away from him. "Let's go to the beach, yeah?" Newt nodded and squeezed the grip on Thomas' hand, trying to comfort him a little.

"Let's go." He confirmed, as the two walked toward the beach.

The day improved after that moment, the two boys were swimming and playing in the sea. After an exhausting fight they had, which ended in a sand-filled Thomas and Newt running away while laughing, they sat on the shore and contemplated the beautiful view that the day offered them.

After a while, Thomas broke the silence.

"Sorry for what happened with the jeep." Newt denied, indicating that it was not important.

"It's okay. You know?" Newt took a handful of sand and slowly released it. "If you want to tell me anything, I will listen to you."

There was a silence that surrounded them, in which they continued to admire the beach and how the waves formed in the distance.

"It was at night," Thomas began to narrate. “I was in the car with my girlfriend and we were returning from a party of a friend from our university.” The boy kept looking straight ahead. "We were arguing because she said I shouldn't drive drunk, and I kept insisting I was sober enough to do it." He laughed heavily. "If the person in the car on the opposite side had taken my girlfriend's advice we would still be alive." Thomas raised his shoulders. "I went into a coma, apparently for a long time." He looked back at Newt. “I showed up here and found Lauren, the girl you saw me with.” Before Newt could answer something, Thomas came forward. “She is my girlfriend's friend, she died of suffocation one year earlier than I. Apparently, they had seen each other three months ago, because my girlfriend had not survived the accident." Thomas seemed like he had trouble continuing talking, but eventually he did. "She decided not to stay.” He concluded. "I killed her."

Newt denied and took the other boy's face in his hands, obligating him to look him back.

"Tommy, it's not your fault." The brunet denied and gave him a melancholic smile.

They continued to observe the sun, and lay down on the sand, always looking up at the sky and the white clouds that seemed like painted on it.

“Are you going to stay?” The question that ran through Newt's mind all day was finally heard by Thomas. His watch closer and closer to the time limit. Newt had avoided observing him since he woke up, so he wouldn't feel more anxiety than he had in his chest.

Thomas didn't turn to see him, and the question remained in the air. Newt's heart clenched.

"It wouldn't be fair," Thomas released, still looking at the sky. "She left and,"

"Thomas, it's not your fault she has decided to leave." Newt interrupted. The brunet denied again, and that made Newt enraged, who sat down. "You can't let guilt make you decide to leave." This time, Thomas looked at him.

"Newt I can't do that to her."

"But it was her decision." The blond insisted again.

"Newt." Thomas spoke in a strong tone, giving the blond the clue that he didn't want to keep talking about it. Newt turned his eyes to his friend's watch, and his heart sank.

"It's just not fair," The blond looked down. "You can be happy here." A shy tear rolled down his cheek and Newt quickly wiped it, hoping Thomas hadn't seen it, hiding the true words he wanted to say to him. _I really want you to stay._

"She doesn't deserve that." Thomas repeated, trying to convince both of them. Silence surrounded them again, and Newt decided to go back to lied down next to Thomas.

"I killed myself."

At the sudden confession, Thomas only managed to take Newt's hand.

"Newt," Before he started to talk, the blond interrupted him.

"No." He released. "I just, I just want you to know." The brunet only squeezed the grip on his hand. "I was so tired of everything." Newt closed his eyes tightly. "I thought that was the only solution."

After a while of silence surrounding them, Thomas spoke. 

"What is the last thing you remember?" Thomas did not know why that question has come from his lips, and he knew perfectly well that it was not adequate.

"The bathroom knob trying to open, and screams from the other side of the door." A single tear rolled down his cheek. "Blood. Blood everywhere, and the water in the tub turning red.” He turned his head, and not knowing where he got the energy, he smiled at Thomas. "That's all." He put his sight back in the sky. "You?"

"It's like it happened in slow motion," Thomas plays slowly with the fingers of Newt's hand. “I only remember her face full of terror, and that I wasn't fast enough to turn the wheel. Thousands of glasses flying, and a buzz that only increased in intensity.”

"When you were in a coma, were you aware?" Newt asked, too intrigued. The boy nodded.

“I could listen. It was fucking scary.” Newt grimaced, worried. “Anyway, let's go swimming again. I'm sure I'll beat you this time.” Newt didn't know how Thomas was able to change the subject so sharply, but he just nodded and stood up, starting to run with the other boy back to the sea.

The two boys were exhausted. They had just eaten the sandwiches they had packed before arriving at the beach, and they were again just sitting in the sand, playing with it. The sun was beginning to hide, and Newt's anxiety only managed to grow. Although it was not his intention, he could not help mentally keeping track of the time he had left with Thomas.

"A nice orange." Thomas commented, referring at the color in the sky. Newt nodded, and hugged his legs.

"Stay."

"Newt," The blond denied, and stood up, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. Thomas following him instantly.

"No. Thomas, listen.” Newt turned around and looked him in the eye. “You must stay. It's not fair that you punish yourself for something that wasn't in your hands,” Newt tried to control his breathing, he didn't want to cry in front of the brunet, it would be so embarrassing. "You can't give up all this for a person who decided to leave."

"Newt," The boy was interrupted before even trying to speak again.

“You can do everything you want, have everything you want.” The boy looked at the sea and returned his gaze to Thomas. "Do you want snow?" The boy just waved his hands slowly and above them began to fall small snowflakes, which made Thomas smile wistfully. "You can have it." The brunet moved his hand up in the air, and caught several snowflakes. "Rain?" A drop fell on Thomas' nose. "Take it for granted."

"Newt, stop." Thomas warned, and the blond increased the intensity of the small rain he had generated above them. "Stop!" Newt as a small child being scolded, stopped the rain abruptly and stepped back, with fear but mostly impotence drawn all over his face.

"It's just," The blond seemed to find no words to express what he felt. "I think you deserve a second chance to be happy." He hugged himself. "I suppose."

Thomas approached the other boy and hugged him.

"Sorry." Newt whispered in the brunet's ear, and he only denied, indicating that there was nothing to apologize for. "I will miss you so much." Newt placed his head on Thomas' shoulder and inhaled deeply, trying to memorize Thomas' essence so he wouldn't forget it soon. Thomas placed a kiss on Newt's head.

The two boys sat down again, Newt lying his head on the brunet's shoulder and Thomas stroking the blond's hair slowly.

"I wish this moment would last forever." Newt commented, sinking his head deeper into Thomas' shoulder. Thomas' fingers stroking his hair, the warm weather around them and the sound of the waves coming and going, made Newt forget for a moment the tragic situation he was in, and unable to fight against that scenario he closed his eyes without noticing it, and fell into a deep sleep.

The first thing he heard upon waking was the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks. His eyes were still closed, so that confused him greatly. When he opened his eyes, and observed the place where he was, he found himself so out of place. Newt was still on the beach. His heart seemed to fall into a black hole when he fell into the reality of what was happening. He looked around everywhere quickly, with panic, feeling that the air simply could not stay in his lungs. Although the sand had not been the best place to sleep, and now he was under a dark sky, Newt couldn't think of anything other than the fact that he was alone. His eyes flooded with tears and he felt dizzy. With the few forces he managed to find, he stood up and tried to take a few steps, falling into the sand again and starting to sob. _Would I be alone again?_ The boy hugged his legs and let the tears go down his cheeks, trying to look at the ocean but not being able to concentrate on anything, not even in trying to breath correctly.

"Newt," A voice rang out behind him, and Newt's heart, that seemed unable to withstand more emotions, beat again faster. "If we can do anything, can we fly?"

Newt stood up and turned slowly, placing a smile on his face that seemed not to fit with the tears that still flooded his cheeks.

"I have never tried."

Thomas approached Newt with the intention of hugging him, and while he asked truly worried to the blond why he was crying and apologized for having disappeared when the blond was sleeping, Newt knew they would have plenty of time to find out.


End file.
